Saturday, October 29, 2016

Two Years...

Two Years! 

Milestones in our lives, viewed from every angle can be hard to even comprehend.
Waiting for a missionary, finishing a college degree, being cancer-free, serving in a calling, watching grandchildren from birth, building or remodeling a house...we all make these journey's towards something new and hopefully better.

Two years ago I stood on the threshold of one such incredible journey. After nearly a life-time of broken dreams and painful failures, sometimes feeling so public it was as if I was running through Central Park stark naked, I finally admitted my addiction to flour and sugar- and my compulsive eating of everything associated with that- to the only One who had the power to heal. 
Broken, desperate, and terrified I opened a long-overdue dialog with my ever-loving Father in Heaven about my desire to live differently. 
Miraculously (to me ) I immediately discovered that He had given  me this very weakness, so that when I finally surrendered to His will, He could unveil the plan to my happiness that He already had in place.

I stood, two years ago, leaving behind me a trail of destructive, heart-breaking, misery....and looking forward believing, trusting, hoping and full-of confidence in my Savior's ability to help me succeed. Feet firmly planted on the road to recovery. 
Finally unlocking the power to release myself from the vice-like grip of addiction. 
Fully aware of my past life and it's seemingly-senseless actions,
I placed my Hand in His and took my first tremulous steps into His light.

Oh what a marvelous journey it has been! Tears flood my eyes, and course down my cheeks, as I now look back over my shoulder to a very different view! I am amazed at what The Lord has done with me. The more I have learned to surrender my will to His, the greater the vistas I am permitted to view of my life and potential. The further into recovery I am, the more I see His hands and heart moving in perfect majesty in my personal life....in minute detail He enters to lift and heal and encourage and bless.

I could not, I did not, dare to imagine the road I would now be on...I love my new life. I love the absence of the insane chatter in my head that used to plague my every waking moment. I love the peace, the serenity, the joy that now gently seeps into my heart, mind and soul. I love the pure knowledge that I am still not perfect but daily, sometimes hourly am willingly fighting the battle...teamed with the greatest power known to man. God!

I am so grateful to those of you who have  loved and supported me, even when you didn't fully understand all that was going on. I love that you have said things, kindly performed acts of service for me, and above all else have respected and encouraged me to remain on this challenging path to recovery. Every act of unselfish kindness is a memory that I often pull out to re-live...especially when the journey is harder to continue on some days. So thank you! You  will probably never know the extent of the blessing you are in my life, but I will never forget you.

And so now on this milestone today, I happily celebrate this beautiful journey, and eagerly anticipate more wonderful adventures as I trudge this happy road of destiny, 

Two years...and here's to two more...and two more...and two more!