It has become increasingly harder, to live without the opportunity to go wherever, whenever, as this Pandemic has grounded us all. This image spoke to my soul this morning and sealed the deal for me. I have come to a new level of peace as I have been praying and weighing, my personal options about my job. Through the myriad of emotions these last few days, gradually my decision to stay with JetBlue has come into focus. I am putting great faith and trust in my nine and a half year goal of retirement in May next year. Much as I have loved my job, the airline industry (like many others) has forever been changed by our world circumstances. I opted to take the Summer Off without pay in doing my part to ease the financial bleed forced on JetBlue by the Pandemic. And I was faced with a very difficult decision, as the Opt Out Options were unveiled, as my airline scrambles to reinvent themselves as a much smaller company to survive this financial devastation. It has been a mentally exhaustive experience. Added into the mix, my heart has been badly bruised as I have lost my Darling Declan privileges also. With Clark working in Texas until next month, and Bryce on a temporary suicide watch again, feeling a little overwhelmed likely would be not just an understatement...but a big fat lie! However the Lord has not left me comfortless, His loving support to lift and carry me is beautifully evident yet again. I am so richly blessed!
As I have humbly turned over the next few months into the Lord's most capable hands, gently as the dew from Heaven, my peace has come. Sweetly. Softly. Completely. And by degrees my happiness has returned.
I have found my smile again. I find joy in the smallest things. I am seeing beauty in my home- and beautiful yard particularly, as I have had the time ( and physical ability) to care for it again. I have seen so many miracles as the Lord has blessed me with strength beyond my own, helpers who appear as answers to my prayers, doing the things I physically cannot. As I have responded to the promptings of the Spirit when to stop, I have been blessed. I am not one to stop midway through any project, my compulsive nature wants to rush unwittingly toward the finish line, so this has been a whole new experience for me. I will be working away outside, and gently the Spirit whispers, "It is enough." And I return to the house, rest a little, cross-stitch a little more, and then later return outside to pick up where I left off. It has been remarkable. And now as I am seeing the fruits of my labor the jungle is slowly being tamed. I made the decision to break up this acre lot into more manageable size projects, as I view each "area" or project I see progression. Once I have completed one area, I happily move on to the next, no longer drowning in my to-do list! And while there is still much to be done, without work or Declan I know I have the time, and I can breathe and try out my new level of patience.
In the stillness of these summer mornings I can reflect on my many blessings, I can look ahead with faith, not fear. I can see the Lord's miraculous hand in my life, and know with surety all will be well. How that 'well' will look I couldn't exactly say, but for today there is peace and joy within my heart. God is good!
