Many Blessings

There are times when I feel the pull to write, but I am not always sure what the content will be...today is one of those times.

It seems the longer my life goes on, the more people I love- I lose. I know they move on, leaving behind all the mortal-ness with it's struggles, pain and weaknesses. And I know they go to another place, even more exquisite, than what we know here. I know they are reunited with loved ones they have lost, and that they watch over me from there. But as I told my Nanny Sewell when she visited me after she had died, "It's not you I worry about...it's me!" Some days it's harder than others to remember to trust Heavenly Father's timing. I am learning, again it seems, that His timing is not only perfect, but also the only way! 

It just seems like the past few months have been loss after loss, and as I think about what I am grateful for this Thanksgiving Day....I am digging deep and remembering the beautiful things each of these dear departed loved ones have taught or given me. 

Max...I have a photo of his infectious smile, that made his whole face light up, in my office. He is the righteous parental Priesthood holder that I am sealed to for Eternity.  He persevered in faith, working on improving himself, wherever he felt he needed to. Always kind and caring to those around him. I remember fondly the Mother's Day he brought me a rose from his garden. His kindnesses are fresh in my memory!

Uncle Garry...while he teased me constantly, I knew under that facade he loved me very much. I remember him driving Mum & I to a local shopping center, and then sat patiently (not necessarily his strong suit when it came to me) outside in the hallway while we shopped our hearts out. He cooked for me and carefully taught Clark the intricacies of the dumbest game on the planet....Cricket! 

Dakota...my sweet nephew who reminded me sooo much of his Dad, my brother Craig. Koda Bear was kind, caring, and was always sharing a hug with me within seconds of us coming together. He brought family together, he loved deeply and completely. As I witness the pain in the wake of his passing, I am acutely aware it is because we all loved him so much, and he loved equally as fiercely in return.

Uncle Tom...quick to smile. laugh and joke, I loved watching the tender care he took of his girls...Aunty Una, Aunty Yvonne, Mum, Jan, Karin, Susan and Robyn. No one was excluded from any of his adventures. His generous heart will never be far from my memories of him. 

Dear Spencer...a life so beautifully accomplished there was no need to remain here. His family such a powerful example of Christ-like love. I think of him often, and pray his family feels the peace of Christ, as they move forward together, Spencer never far from their hearts.

Clark's Dad...my father-in-law was a truly remarkable man. His legacy is rich in righteousness. His example is being followed by his posterity. The hole he leaves here is hard to bear, but I know he would want us to keep striving for the blessings of Heaven. Staying strong on the covenant path, was his dearest wish for us all. 

So while I have shed many tears recently, I pause today to recognize the incredible gifts I have been given in knowing these remarkable people. And while my mortal path has been rugged at times with pain, I am so grateful for others who have stopped and lent a hand, lifting me, encouraging me, and walking this path of thorns with me.

I look to my greatest blessings, that of Lover and my children and grandchildren. Oh how sweet they make my life! How they inspire me to try hard things, and continue to grow. I take courage as I watch them walk their own vale of tears, strong, confident and lifting and helping each other. My heart is full as I see our fervent prayers being answered in their lives. I am so proud of each of them! 

And so while I acknowledge loss brings growth, I choose to linger upon the beautiful blessings I have been given. My prayer, or hope, for each of us, is that we may continue to lift and strengthen each other, that we won't ever become too busy to stop and share our love. That we may see the good in others and the world around us. And may we ever give thanks to that great God, who made all of this possible for us. And to Christ, who through His unselfish Atonement, has made Eternal Life with our loved ones a reality for us to reach out and grasp onto.

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Leaves..

Falling leaves in my front yard caught my eye and then my mind just now. I reflected on my friend Bella's reference to fall being a time that teaches us to let go gracefully.... I continued to watch the golden leaves fall gently in the stillness of this Autumn morning. I realized it is not often that I get to actually see the leaves fall, having given their all, they have fulfilled the measure of their creation, and now letting go they fall gently to the carpet of leaves below.

Still letting these thoughts run through my mind I prepared my breakfast and then sitting down at my kitchen table facing my backyard, I witnessed again this little circle of life.
Then I saw one leaf moving, but not falling. Fascinated I watched as it precariously fluttered back and forth. Thinking it would be interesting to see it actually fall, as opposed to just glimpsing leaves after they had begun to fall...as I had no idea when the fall would begin, I watched. While there seemed to be very little movement in surrounding leaves, I was  almost mesmerized as the leaf swung in the invisible breeze. I was amazed at it's obvious tenacity, against inevitable odds. There were times when it was battering against nearby leaves, and branches...still it failed to fall.

Then the thought came to me...how often do I humbly accept the changes Christ is nudging me toward? Do I take His help and gracefully or humbly make the necessary changes...thus fulfilling my Divine Destiny. Or do I tenaciously cling to old habits resisting the very change that would help me reach the full measure of my creation? Which leaf am I?

I realized the are other times when violent winds would rip even the unwilling leaves from their safety and comfort...and then blow them in every direction, in essence, forcing the inevitable change, and they landed far away having been tossed unmercifully on the winds. Are there times I resist the change in my life I need to make, when a wise and loving Father in Heaven, shakes my world, helping me to accept changes that ultimately will bring me closer to Him and the Heavenly Home I am reaching for? Do I resist changing old ways, habits or poor choices, until He the Master of all sends, sometimes-violent winds, into my life thus focusing my attention on changes He knows are critical to enable me to make the necessary progress?

As I conclude my writing my little golden backyard leaf is still fighting to stay on the nearly bare branch. Even so, other leaves in yellow, oranges and browns...fall gently to the earth. The fight goes on...which leaf will I now choose to be like?

Surprise!!

Even though the calendar claimed I was now 60 years old, I still had a hard time wrapping my head around that reality. The morning of my birthday began with the heavy and instantly recognizable scent of my childhood. Frangipani...Plumeria. 

I remember my Nana Olsson had a carport on one side of her house in Strathfield, just outside of Sydney. That entire carport, both sides and the roof, was completely covered with Frangipani. 

After living in our Lindon house with 44 trees on our acre of land, I am overwhelmed with the fall leaves those 44 trees drop every year. So I can now appreciate the prolific flowering Frangipani may be considered a messy contribution to any yard in Australia. 

However as a child, often in dire need of solace, comfort, and to somehow be reminded that there was still beauty-in my often horrific young life- to me those pristine, picture-perfect flowers, and their unmatched fragrance seemed to represent my Heavenly Father’s gift to me. At the time I never saw the mess they made as they fell to the ground, having given their all. All I knew was that they were beautiful, and to this day I never tire of seeing, or smelling them. 

I also know now that smell is one of the strongest memory senses, and those sweet Frangipani still have the power to transport me home to Australia. 

So part of my heart immediately considered my birthday perfect-as I awoke to Frangipani blooms at my bedside. 

Little did I know....

Later that day we went to the Waikiki Hyatt for my birthday dinner. As I stood on the open balcony overlooking the famous beach, my mind drifted back to the week previous when we had Skyped with Trevor. He said “Well your card should arrive this week, but your present won’t get there til next week.” I reminded him we’d be in Hawai’i by then but that Bryce could bring it inside. That kinda dashed my secret hope that they would somehow meet us in Hawai’i. I returned to the table and my phone began to ring....it was Trevor. He said, “So I shipped your package to the hotel, because I thought you guys were staying there. Apparently not. I’ve talked to the front desk and they told me you’ll have to pick it up by 6pm.” 

I looked at my watch it was 5:56!

So Lisa took me down to the front desk and there were several people in line ahead of us. Suddenly I heard kind of a loud cough behind me and I felt like the person was standing a bit too close to me with that cough...so I turned around to them....and screamed as my brain caught up with what my eyes were seeing...Trevor and Chris standing there grinning at me and my reaction! I grabbed Chris in a huge hug as my eyes filled with tears. 

I could hardly take it in!

Later little pieces of the puzzle would drop into place in my mind. And I realized Clark and Trevor had planned this whole thing months ago!! Planning ahead has been so out of Clark’s character for much of our marriage, so the magnitude of what they’d done still reduces me to tears! 

They all thoroughly enjoyed sharing their respective roles in this birthday surprise of all surprises! 

As I looked around the table at the smiling happy faces, and the sparkling eyes, of some of the people most dear to me in this life, I felt so blessed! 

Much later I found out Lisa actually caught most of my initial reaction on video...another surprise that apparently had some divine intervention!!

We all enjoyed several days together before Jones’s continued on to London via Boston. 

So this somewhat scary 60th birthday will forever stand as one of the most remarkable surprises of my life. I remember looking into Clark’s eyes that night, as my heartbeat returned to normal, and his joy and his love for me, took my breath away again! 

There’s no way to adequately express my heartfelt gratitude to Clark, Trevor, Chris, Greg, Lisa...and a few others who kept their secret, but I will love each of them and cherish the memories forever! 

Glistening golden sand

We settled on Makapu’u beach, I strolled down the wet sand watching and listening. Descriptive phrases flooded my mind....endlessly enchanting...miraculously mesmerising. 

Stilled by the scenes unfolding before my eyes...continuously captivating the pale aqua waves building and suddenly bursting into white foam. Wave upon wave, waiting- then building then breaking over and over again. I let the cacophony of pounding surf seep into my battered, aching heart. 

The combination of sights, sounds, and sand between my toes, allowed peace to slip into my soul. Gradually I dragged my eyes from the ocean, and saw the white surf spray-splashing against the black lava rocks. I looked higher and saw the silent sentry of stone, covered in lush tropical foliage. 

A solitary lighthouse, perched on the edge of the mountain side, reaching out to bring others safely home,  and warning of unseen dangers below.

The perfect pallet of colors, draws me into the crazy surf. I quickly realized I had been perfectly safe on the glistening sand, but as I ventured away from that safety, suddenly I felt the invisible pull....before I can catch my breath, the waves- instantly the enemy- now pound me along with the already soaking sand. It may look good but the reality is entirely different. The analogy isn’t lost on me. Am I truly engaged in following the beacon from my lighthouse...the Lord’s Prophet on earth today-President Nelson? Knowing he will steer me away from worldly dangers....

The seagulls swoop towards the surface, hoping for a fresh catch from the sea, pulling away seconds before the surf meets the sand in the unmistakable roar. 

And life goes on. After untangling myself from the relentless rip-tide, I settled in back on the glistening sand and relaxed. Yes, yes, this is just what I needed!