Twenty seven years ago! Oh what a night! I witnessed multiple miracles, as the moment had finally come. Bryce had finally arrived, blue as a blueberry, with his cord wrapped around his neck multiple times. With no newborn cry, the respiratory therapists began hitting his chest with a special mallet trying to have him breathe. Within a minute he was bundled up, thrust towards my face with the quiet command "Kiss your baby" which I did and then was startled when they ran from the room, and their racing footsteps could be heard all the way to the nursery!!
I looked at Clark and said "you'd better go with him." He quickly left the room. I closed my eyes and prayed, but felt only peace. What I know now- was that on some level I knew he was in the Lord's gentle hands. While they cleaned me up, I lay quietly and reflected on all that had just happened. I marveled at the knowledge that the little hand I had felt on my belly towards the end with each contraction, was Bryce's twin Bronson. The twin I had miscarried within the first week of my pregnancy! I had seen him and silently communicated with him! I knew him immediately! What a marvelous miracle! Clark arrived back after a short stay with Bryce to report, "He has pinked up nicely, and is beautiful. I'll see you tomorrow." And with that he was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief, believing all was well.
The nurse finally asked if I would like to see my baby before going to my room, from my wheelchair, I nodded, already feeling the effects of the sleeping pill. Suddenly I was shocked into complete awareness, and felt nearly strangled with fear, as she wheeled me into the Newborn Intensive Care Unit!!
The veritable sea of medical personnel parted and to my horror, I saw my son lying on his back in an open crib hooked to countless tubes, leads and machines, with his eyes closed, motionless! Something was very, very wrong, but no one had any answers yet, and I was wheeled silently to my room.
Several hours later Bryce's new pediatrician, kindly entered my room and introduced himself. He gently told me our boy was very sick, but in excellent hands, and they were running some tests, but hopefully I would be nursing him within a few more hours. I was still in shock, but had the presence of mind to call Clark and tell him to come and give our beautiful boy a blessing, because he may not make it. Clark's Dad met us in the NICU, Bryce was still not conscious as they reverently stepped up to Bryce's bedside. Clark went to lay his hands on Bryce's head..and suddenly faltered, and withdrew his hands...softly he said "I don't know if I can do this..." As I met his eyes I saw his love for our son and yet agony was etched on his face. Little did I know our whole world was about to change. Clark again stepped up, and with trust and determination, he began the first of many blessings for this child. Then my heart crashed to the depths of terror as I heard Clark say, "Heavenly Father Bryce's is your son, if Thou needs to take him home, we will accept Thy Will. But Father if he is permitted to stay I will teach him all he needs to know to return to Thee someday." Silent tears slid down my cheeks, my mind screamed silently...."Please no! He just got here! But...Thy will be done." I fell weeping into Clark's arms and we cried together.
Two days later I was checking out of the hospital, with a photograph of my beautiful boy, Bryce, twin of Bronson. One of the nurses had kindly snapped a rare shot of Bryce as they were changing the tube into his mouth, and oxygen tubing into his nose. He had not one, but two deep, beautiful dimples, and the most magnetic blue eyes. Lots of dark hair and long dark eyelashes! But instead of taking that long-awaited bundle of joy home, he was being wheeled into surgery to correct a duodenal stenosis-high grade. A blockage of his intestines.
To say this whole experience was unexpected would be a gross understatement. I won't go into any more detail here...it will be in the book! Yes I am writing a book. Please pray for me as I battle many fears, and Satan, in this project.
So today I look back and marvel at the evidence of the Lord's hand throughout this child's earthly life. I have been awed and humbled as pieces of the Grand Picture have been given to me over the years. Bryce is a truly remarkable soul, and I love him so much. The Mother-Bear in me has always been very close to the surface during his life, as we have walked through the valley of the shadow of death many times.
However, today, today we celebrate him. His goodness, his spirit, his beautiful eyes and dimples even! His kindness, the depth of his soul, and his undeniable connection to his twin brother Bronson. While Bronson had a very different arrival date to his mortality than Bryce, he has none-the-less been very much a part of our family's story. He has been permitted to be with me many times,and he is a very real part of Bryce's sojourn here.
I can hardly comprehend the journey we have shared with Bryce, and it is not over yet! But I love him with my whole soul. Relationships are undeniably altered when that walk into the shadow of death, as we know it, is undertaken...not one, not twice, but every time it happens. And I know it will happen again.
But today we celebrate! We are thankful for the multitude of miracles, awed by the opportunities for spiritual growth, humbled by the glorious love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for this valiant son. Today we hope Bryce knows how we treasure him, love him and are inspired by his struggles with, and victories over, his personal challenges. He is amazing! We are so proud of his efforts! I personally appreciate his spiritual insights and his quick laugh, spontaneous hugs, sticky-notes of love all over the place, his ability to let the past be the past, though it is a daily determination still.
Happy Birthday to you my darling Bryce! Thank you for being here with us today!
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