I have a very large yard...almost an acre, with 44 trees. With a large yard comes an equally large portion of yard-work. My abilities and talents lend themselves to weeds. Occasionally flowers, but mostly weeds. No sooner do I clear one area, than my smile of accomplishment is stripped from my face, as I look back and see those blasted weeds are already reproducing at an alarming rate! It gets overwhelming from time to time. Last week after a particularly rough several days...wherein I learned the origins of the expression "grass roots" I closed my eyes at bedtime, very ready to succumb to sleep when to my horror I realized my mind was displaying the very weeds I had wrestled with for hours earlier in the day!. Seeing these weeds pop into my minds eye unbidden and certainly most unwelcome...gave me pause. Grrrr!
While I have taken a sort of pleasure over the years as I have diligently rid my yard of weeds...this house has been the exception. Not only is it much larger than anything previously we have owned...two consecutive years of shoulder injury, and subsequent surgeries, and hideous recoveries... had left my "garden" unattended, and consequently those weeds think they are in full possession of my yard!
Never one to back down from a fight, I knew I had to do something, especially as I look out on to this particularly overgrown weed-patch as I sit at my desk to work every day. Knowing my personal history of critical body parts rendering me a bit challenged...hands, back, shoulders...I resolved to begin slowly at this task before me. Fifteen minutes in the cool morning, then thirty, then sixty. Slowly I realized I was at least making progress with my endurance level...however I was sure at this rate fall would be here before I saw any substantial progress.
Saturdays were my delight as I began to do a sustainable 4-5 hours! I opted for the front yard first, rewarding myself with beautiful bark weed-free beds. I also knew I had many friends and neighbors who passed by my house during their walks or runs every day. I convinced myself I was making my yard presentable as an act of service for them! It worked well that day. And when I get fed up or overwhelmed in my back yard jungle...I tell myself, but the front yard looks nice.
This week as the grass-weeds were taking their toll on my poor hands, and each day was a truly painful experience, I remember thinking one morning, "Heavenly Father I could sure use a little help here...maybe a little more hand strength, or a little less resistance from these grass-weeds..." Though the Heavens remained silent as I continued to struggle..suddenly seemingly out out of nowhere a gentle breeze blew across my shoulders and cooled my face. I smiled and thanked Heavenly Father for His tender mercies.
Other times when my hands kept screaming..."I am done!" I would think just a few more...and suddenly I would hit a patch that was incredibly easier than the others. I would smile and thank Heavenly Father for His tender mercy again. And then I would think...how remarkable that in all the pleas, demands, and heart-felt requests His time is filled with, He still can make me feel like I am His favorite after all! Awesome parenting skills there!
On my final day in one area...I came upon one of our pine trees. The ground below it was covered more with pine needles than weeds-definitely a cause for a celebration- I remembered thinking that not much grows beneath a pine because of the acidity they produce. It quickly became obvious there was some truth to that as I was able to rake the needles away to reveal the dirt beneath in a very short and rewarding amount of time. There were a few hardy grass-weeds which I began to remove. I realized these grasses had very shallow root systems, unlike their now-dead relatives that had been giving me fits for days!
I pondered this phenomenon and wondered if I had been like these weeds at one time, under the protection of parents and church leaders, even strong friends, there was a time when my own roots may have been shallow. Like the grass-weeds here, I too had continued to grow and even flourish, in the safety of my environment. However there had come a time when I had to branch out and let my own roots of my testimony sink deeper into the eternal truths I had learned. Even now I recognize there are times in my life of relative smooth-sailing, so to speak, where my testimony may not be challenged, or life is quiet and delightfully peaceful.
However I also know that during the trials of life, where sometimes, my testimony took a considerable beating, I am so grateful for those deep roots, anchored deep into the bedrock of the gospel of Jesus Christ. No matter what the trials are, I can know with deep, fundamental, gentle assurance that I am loved by Heavenly Parents. I have an older Brother Jesus Christ who gave His all that I may have a way Home. The peace that assurance brings is without worldly measure or comparison.
And so the weed saga continues day after day in my own little jungle of a yard...some sessions go better than others. Some days I do a little and then just relish in the stillness of the summer morning. Those times remind me of the scripture, "Be still and know that I am God." He his in His Heaven and all will- someday- be right with the world. I am slowly learning how to nurture myself, to fill my bucket, so that I can continue to be an instrument in His hands to do His will, and minister in His way.
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