Yesterday as I was studying Matthew 4 where Christ was invited by the Holy Spirit to go to the mountain to "be with God" We all know Satan followed and proceeded to offer all manner of temptations to the 40-day-fast-weary Savior. As I read and pondered how do I "be with God" I reflected on these past two weeks as I have struggled and asked "what would Thou have me to do?' with Bryce. Bryce seems to be stuck, and nothing I could think of would change that. I had been praying to know the Lord's will.
Silently the whispers of the Spirit came clearly to my mind..."This time of not knowing what to do with Bryce is a time of personal preparation. You need not to focus on Bryce, but instead turn to the Lord and prepare yourself- that you may be worthy and ready to be the instrument in the Lord's hand when it is right." I paused as I processed the answer I had been given. Then I accepted it and moved forward through the remainder of my study time.
The sweetness of this experience lingered in my heart and was never far from my thoughts all day. When frustrations over Bryce began to bubble into my heart, I chose to turn to the Lord. Peace was my reward.
Later that afternoon I was surprised to take a call from my friend Gary Little. Elizabeth wasn't feeling well and he knew he was supposed to give me their tickets for the annual CES Evening with a General Authority. In a heartbeat I accepted his kind offer. The speaker was to be Elder Rasband. I smiled, I had taught Seminary with his sister Nancy years ago in California. How fitting that as a former CES Seminary Teacher I was being given this wonderful opportunity. As I went to pick up the tickets my heart reminded me of my invitation to turn to the Lord just that morning. This surely displayed my willingness, and again peace filled my tattered heart.
Clark and I entered the Tabernacle on Temple Square and quickly found seats. Within just a few minutes the hum of the Tabernacle audience suddenly hushed and we all rose as Elder Rasband walked on to the stand. The meeting began and the Spirit was palpable! I looked around at all the faithful, dedicated CES teachers and felt humbly blessed to be in their midst. The meeting proceeded until it was time for Elder Rasband to speak.
We sat in wondering awe as Elder Rasband proceeded to speak of his, and his Brethren's, deep concern over the alarming increase in teen and young adult suicide. He gave some horrifying statistics, and then as he continued to speak, we felt of his love and hope. He called us 'first responders' in the daily lives of our youth as we teach and testify of Christ and His love for each of His children. He lifted, encouraged, supported and loved as he enlisted our aid to help those who need help, obvious or not-so-obvious. My tears ran freely as I pondered this very singular experience. I marveled at the majesty of this miracle for us to be on this sacred ground. This was no coincidence...this I knew was a direct result of following sacred whispers this morning. I promised I would "turn to the Lord" and He set in motion a series of events resulting in us being here. I literally sat at the feet of one of the Lord's special witnesses of the Lord Jesus Christ, and felt wrapped in His loving arms.
As we drove home, a little stunned at what we'd just experienced, I received a text from Gary..."Umm I had no idea that would be the topic. I've never seen anything like that before in my career." He quickly went on to say, "Stake YW Presidency. You are a first responder. You and Clark are uniquely qualified to lift and educate. Don't carry the weight of that responsibility right now. Just know that Heaven trusts you and loves you!"
As the tears continued to fall Clark and I knew that Gary had articulated exactly what we had felt. Heavenly Father was completely aware of our struggles and desires. He wanted us to know He was hearing and answering our prayers. He is executing His Perfect Plan for each of us, Bryce included. I am in humble awe as occasionally I am privileged to witness as the Lord parts the veil and I am allowed to see His plan unfolding before my very eyes. So it was in that moment.
Bryce met me at the door when we arrived home and smiled as he said, "I've slept all I can sleep. I am ready to re-enter my life." His eyes shined with a new light and I was stunned into silence. This morning he came up and asked what we needed help with today...oh and can you please iron my shirt for church tomorrow? I deserve an award for my acting as I appeared to take all this in stride....
Bryce later told me he had a very distinct impression to stop gaming this morning. Which he did, and came upstairs. He knew an AA meeting wasn't going to cut it, he HAD to be in church tomorrow. He considered going back to gaming when he learned we were going out, but suddenly he had no desire to game. He knew he wasn't to do it.
I smiled as I recognized more blessings as the Lord's plan was being fulfilled. Hope filled my heart as I watched his sparkling eyes. Maybe...just maybe...
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